Move on- An Elixir to Heartbreak?

“Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end” – Anne Louise Germaine de Staël-Holstein

‘Love’, an inherent fundamental virtue, has always been the epicenter of modulating human lives and has kept evolving with the evolution of life. This virtue has never been constant in either intensity or form whether it is the various stages of life or the different phases of changing times. And although it is a divine feeling to be in love, the happiest state to be in, and arguably the greatest thing to happen to someone; to experience what true love entails, one needs to see the other side of the spectrum, that of heartbreak.

The blissful state of being in love and a relationship also makes one vulnerable to difficult encounters like sleepless nights, stabbing pain, trickling tears, silent sufferings, and constant overanalyzing that follow when ‘it’s all over. But is it actually ‘all over’ when that dawn of realization settles in beyond the blur of the trance euphoria?

Whether it is the state of newfound love or having been in a steady relationship, it is always a trial and error. And when the romance meets an unfortunate end, there is bound to be that heartache and agony of a broken relationship. Whether it is the slow death of romance, expectations not met, cheating, non-reciprocation of love and commitment, or any other reason, the heartbreak ends up seesawing amidst the mixed feelings of anger, hurt, confusion, guilt, sadness, and loneliness. Whatever may be the reason or the outcome of a broken relationship, there are always several ways to mend the broken heart.

Whereas the ethereal experience and pristine power of love often pass through the gateway of heartbreak, there is this pathway of invaluable opportunity called ‘moving on’ which is a great healer of the suffering. Whether it is a romantic alliance, a long-standing friendship, or a close-knit family; if it becomes toxic and sour, one should learn to let go and move on. Despite the basic human nature of ‘holding on’, we need to learn to decipher when this instinct becomes a hurdle in our growth and prevents us from achieving our true potential whether in life or a relationship.

When a relationship has reached its conclusion, no matter the state of uncertainty and the amount of unhappiness it entails, we need to recognize when it is time to let go, move out of the comfort zone, and unlock the life that we deserve beyond the toxicity of the current situation. As the certainty and clarity dawn, the transition from knowing to actually moving on becomes easier. There’s never ‘I’ll never find someone else’ and we need to emerge out of such limiting beliefs. There’s always going to be a ‘silver lining’, a ‘road to recovery beyond dark clouds’, and ‘positive incantation’ of survival.

No matter how difficult it seems, it is going to get easier and happier! Stop the ‘Blame Game’, restrict the guilt influxes, ‘forgive and forget’, don’t overanalyze, and embrace yourself and your emotions. Let those incredible amounts of negative emotions pass eventually while you take care not to let the negativity take a toll on your physical and mental well-being. Dwelling in the past never helps, there’s a future to look forward to! Master your emotions and learn to empathize instead of constant analysis.

Confiding in an acquaintance or seeking counsel with a well-wisher always helps. Don’t get stuck with those bottled-up sentiments, talk to someone, be it a supportive friend, a family member, or even a therapist. This also helps develop a positive outlook on the whole situation. A right attitude with a pinch of gratitude is an anecdote to guilt, grief, sadness, and anxiety. So, be grateful for the good moments and the learning experience as you move out of the toxicity. ‘Remember it is a process and not the destination’!

The process of letting go and moving on may seem stressful but don’t beat yourself up on this. Take the time out for self-care and falling in love with yourself before you are ready to open your heart to new relationships. Indulge in hobbies, spend time with friends and family, pamper yourself with relaxing activities, and draw fulfillment from your individual existence. Give the entire process ample time, and the whole while, keep yourself busy with a positive perspective. You may not feel better from day one but eventually, you will be there.

Moving on is certainly an elixir to surviving heartbreaks and failed relationships. Continuing to hold on is only going to make it painful, hence don’t refuse to let go. Embrace the situation and steer the outcome with a stronghold on emotions and sensibility. Uncertainty may still be beautiful, just look at it with the right perspective. Work through the agony, learn from it, and move on to accept life and love all over again in full vigor and merriment!

About the Columnist-

An HR-turned-Author, Jyoti Jha is an MBA by qualification and has been associated with corporates like Infosys and Whirlpool in the past. After almost a decade of globe-trotting, she pursued her compelling passion of expressing through words and embarked upon the journey of exploring the field of literature.

An esteemed winner of ‘The Times of India Write India Season 3’, she has authored the books, ‘The Realms of Human Emotions’, ‘Around The World Through My Lens’, and ‘Aanandi’. Awarded ‘Savitribai Phule Rashtriya Samman’ on International Womens Day and having been featured as ‘Iconic Authors 2022’ by Aesthetics International, she has been awarded as ‘Author of the year’ in The LIT FEST 2020 and has won the title ‘Best Reviewer of the year 2020 and 2021’.

A Storyteller, Columnist, and a Lyricist, she has been proud Panelist and Guest Speaker in Talk Shows at prestigious institutions like IIM Lucknow, IIT Delhi, IIT Jammu, and Christ College.  Having been interviewed and featured at one of the Top Literary Journals of the country, Jyoti has been an honorable Jury Member at the Literary Club, IIT BHU for Storytelling and an honorable guest at Kashiyatra, IIT BHU, Varanasi for Hindi Poetry. She has been an esteemed guest speaker and host at a unique Talk Show ‘The Lit Talks’ on a reputable OTT Platform. Her debut Hindi novel ‘Aanandi’ has been featured at the Pune International Literary Festival (PILF) 2021 and is made into an audiobook available at Storytel by Zankar Studios.