“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked……
…. Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced”
Sailing through the ebbs and tides of joy and sorrow, our emotions dance through the universe’s reward in the form of opposites. Are we meant to cherish both or simply appreciate the two, or decipher and comprehend the complexities of the two dominant sentiments interwoven in our lives? Whereas one provides opportunities for growth, survival, empathy, and a profound appreciation for the other, the other sentiment simultaneously opens avenues for fostering connections, resilience, and positivity. So, which of the two has either effect? Is it joy that brings positivity, or does it pave the way for growth? Or whether it is sorrow that fosters a sense of empathy and develops appreciation for joy, or does it help build resilience?
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Intertwined and present as two sides of the same coin, there’s no choice between joy and sorrow; it is merely a reflection of our response to a situation, the fulfillment or failure of our expectations, and interpretations of human experiences. Serving differently but with complementary purposes, both happiness and sadness are essential for a balanced life. Providing a middle ground between pleasure and pain, our daily experiences are dominated by neutral emotions that enhance our overall well-being, broadening our perspectives. While desirable situational responses form positive emotions and feelings of joy, a negative effect towards a situation evokes unpleasant feelings and the sentiments of sorrow. From the delight of seeing a child smiling to celebrating one’s successful graduation ceremony, the gratification of achieving one’s goals, or simply rejoicing in the cherished milestones, whether it is a simple pleasure of life or a momentous life-defining celebration, happiness seeps into our lives and gives us opportunities to feel positive. On the other hand, there are moments of setbacks and struggles, those of disappointments, disconnections, and despair, or the instances of loss and grief that trigger the onset of feeling low and negative. Is life a seesaw between the two? Or is it trying to create an intricate web where one feeling is concealed in another? A disguised puzzle where we are meant to decipher that without the existence of one, there’s no value of another!
“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one”. – Rumi
When we introspect, we find that life is nothing but full of opposites! Day and Night, Light and Dark, Positive and Negative, Happiness and Sadness! One is an intrinsic part of the other, inseparable from one another, and unappreciated without the other. In the birth of a child, there is both profound joy and deep sadness; sadness that the spiritual journey has ended in one form, and the happiness that it continues to explore a new human experience now. Or is it the other way round? At graduation, there’s the cheer of achievement and a sense of sorrow about separating from the familiarity of an institute, a life phase, and friends. When an artist completes a creation, there’s tremendous joy because there’s a sense of accomplishment; simultaneously, there’s an intermingled feeling of desolation because the creative piece and the creation process now require detachment. The universe plans and decides even before we blink our eyes, ponder over, or comprehend a solution, and it rewards us as a manifestation of opposites. Hence, we are destined to experience, cherish, and appreciate both the feelings and exposure to happiness and sadness. And realize that it is merely a change of perspective, where we are meant to handle both with prudence, stoicism, and balance.
The cause to be cheery is far more supreme than the reason to be miserable. Not mutually exclusive, both happiness and sadness are complicated, multi-dimensional emotions that are influenced by various aspects. We simply need to change our frame of reference and have a positive outlook. Human life is an invaluable gift and provides the possibilities of spiritual exploration, cognitive and creative abilities, potential to make life more meaningful and fulfilling, developing, and evolving beyond the confines of visibility and tangibility. Aren’t we supposed to cherish, explore, and evolve this wonderful specimen of divine creation? Where there are problems, there also exist possibilities of solutions. We need to keep looking, keep searching, and keep going, with hope, positivity, and strength. Instead of focusing on responding to external events, we need to channel our attention towards internal thoughts and manifestation. Assessing a situation through the lens of our expectations, desires, and anticipated outcomes, we must concentrate on neutral emotions that provide an interface of pleasure and pain. From serenity to melancholy, it is the opposites of the same continuum and an interplay of positive and negative that delicately balances our life and helps us grow…helps us evolve! Whether it is the short-term strategy of avoidance or the long-term path of confrontation and conquer, we need to accept, embrace, explore, and outgrow both, for the two necessarily coexist to offer a fulfilling life.
About the Columnist-
Award-Winning HR-turned-Author, Columnist, TEDx Speaker, Speaker (IITs, IIMs), The Times of India Write India Winner, Jyoti Jha has authored, edited, and translated several books in English and Hindi. Known for her Bestselling Hindi novella ‘Aanandi’, she has been conferred ‘Vidya Vachaspati’ and ‘Dr Shanti Jain Smriti Sammaan’. Her upcoming book is on Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) under publication with Vishwakarma Publications.
