A profoundly personal and intuitively instinctive feeling that is supposedly perennial, and yet has kept changing over time, ‘Romance’ has always been an importantly inherent part of human life. From the times when the spark of emotional attachment marked a stepping stone to this divine feeling, to the times when romance was defined by an acquisition laced with power, money, property, and political supremacy. From the emergence of the knighthood of swains pursuing their love interests with charming serenades and poetry, to a formalized process of suitors advancing with strict rules and regulations to warrant civility and respectability. Over the thousands of years, romance has largely been unambiguous and revolving around practical considerations of two people getting into a marriage alliance. Until only a minute ago, in the historical clock, the definition of romance has completely evolved to a different level, where the presumption of ‘loving your partner’ has become prevalent and dominant in romantic relationships.
And this single minute of the historical clock has been an eternity to humankind living the timeline and witnessing the changing faces of romance in it. From the era of identical flowers on the celluloid leaning shyly towards each other to signify a romantic gesture, to the modern times of online dating and informal affairs where couples mix entirely according to their choices and free will, Romance has always had a transforming history.
What triggered the more evolved form of romance in recent times? The radical social shifts, altering attitudes, the emergence of a more affluent society, illuminating education, and women’s empowerment awareness certainly seem to be playing a major role in contributing to this shifting paradigm of romance. Dramatic changes in certain societal norms, getting rid of the social taboos, the liberal dating millennials, and the fiercely independent Gen Z definitely seem to have rewritten the rules of romance.
Romance has become more of a choice than being confined to the corners of mere feelings. It has transcended preconceived notions and has obtained the clarity of what kind of person someone wants to fall in love with. It is an exchange of emotions, dreams, passions, ideas, goals, and moments of life worthy of changing everything and worth anything. It has surpassed the stages of judging and being judged, and allows partners to be, to love, and to live freely. Romance today has expanded beyond the constrictions of romantic partners, family, and friends, and has reached out to include people we care about, the ones we respect and not necessarily obsess about.
Amidst the positivity around the overwhelming sentiment, there prevails the predictability of ‘seasons of love’ when we speak of romance. The ones transitioning from ‘Romantic love’ to ‘Working love’ and ‘Mature love’. A love that feels like the romantic music sweeping us off our feet, ‘Romantic love’ is an undeniably uncontrolled season of romance where there are attractions and courtships driven by strong emotions. The resultant consequence is usually the ‘Working love’ where the long haul of creating a family, raising children, and earning a living is foremost. When the passion of the first season cools off, complemented by a prolonged second season of love, then emerges the third and the final season of romance, which is ‘Mature love’. A stage where love has risen from a dreamland, has tested the times of practicality, and has transformed into an array of decisions, processes, rational choices, and life.
Along the process, there may be couples who once enjoyed a heady romance and end up barely surviving each other, or the ones who pass the test of time in flying colours to become seasoned partners or the ones who part ways failing to even tolerate each other’s sight down the line. Whatever may be the outcome, love has always been a cultural invention trying to keep pace with the rapid advancements and every generation forging its own pathway to the vast universe of romance.
Romance has been an artistic formulation and social innovation, and the sentiment has hardly hit the end of its evolution. The history of love has a long way to go, where generations continue to learn and become more successful at it. Oscillating between an irresolution of perceptions and an abundant capacity of consciousness, romance lurks at a future that promises righteous results, imaginable goodness, and accommodating realities. One that outlives the moments of imperfections and relegates to a ‘safe haven’ where partners build trust and comfort before they are head-over-heels in love with each other.
“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” Les Misérables – Victor Hugo
About the Columnist
An HR-turned-Author, proud winner of ‘Top 50 Indian Icon Awards 2025’, Columnist, TEDx Speaker, Speaker (IITs, IIMs), The Times of India Write India Winner, Jyoti Jha has authored, edited, and translated several books in both English and Hindi. Awarded ‘Vidya Vachaspati’ and ‘Dr Shanti Jain Smriti Samman’, ‘Iconic Authors’, ‘Savitribai Phule Raashtriya Samman’, Judge at IITBHU (Kashiyatra), she has conducted Writing Workshops at IITs and NITs. She is the Chief Coordinator, Let’s Inspire Bihar’s Literary Chapter, and Sr Editor, Today Magazine. Known for her bestselling novella ‘Aanandi’, her writings have been featured and published in international anthologies, prominent media houses, prestigious literary magazines, and journals. Her poem has been appreciated by the Karnataka Sahitya Parishad. To help raise awareness at the very core of a caring society, her latest book, ‘Spectrum and Beyond’, is on autism.
